Colored Tights? Tights of COLOR!

So for those of you who have asked, this is where I get my fabulously colorful hosiery. You can visit their Flickr photostream to see their wares on real models (and thus have a slightly more accurate picture of how the products will look "offscreen"). Since I've only tried the plus-sized tights, those are the ones I'm going to talk about. If you are making a purchase and value quantity over quality, choose the cheaper ones, but if you value quality and proper fit, definitely splurge and go for the nylon/lycra blend ones. I have some of both and the blend ones definitely fit better (the others bunch up at the knees and ankles, and they aren't as perfectly form-fitting as the nylon/lycra blend ones).

I'm not someone who splurges all the time (my relationship to money is kinda weird, but I definitely veer more toward the thrifty end of the spectrum, if anything), so I wasn't tickled by the idea of spending a lot of money on tights, but they were a great investment. I wear them ALL THE TIME. No, literally, ALL THE TIME. Even when it's ridiculously cold outside and I should probably be wearing more, I choose to instead walk around in tights and a short skirt. No, not because I'm a floozy, but because I love tights. Also because I'm pretty ridiculous. But that's another post entirely.

So yes. Initially, I bought a pair of both types o' tights and I decided the cheaper ones were good enough to buy more of (because I wanted a million and a half colors), so I went for those. However, I've realized that the fit is really important and I do prefer the nylon/lycra blend...and thus now I'm buying some of the latter.

Anyway. I really appreciate the existence of this website/company. They carry a ridiculously HUGE array of colors *AND* they have all their solids in a wide range of plus sizes (as well as their striped and "splash" patterns, though I'm waiting on the sparkly tights because, dammit, plus sized ladies like shiny fuckery too!). Finally, I can live out my cracked-out rainbow-legged fantasies. So, thanks, WeLoveColors, for making my childhood dreams of prancing about in bright tights come true.

And you know what else they carry?

Men's tights.

ISN'T THAT FUCKING FANTASTIC?! (Also, the guy in that picture reminds me of Paul Ingelmo, a friend of mine from Brown. Bizarre.)

"Dick'll make you slap somebody!"

(These are very NSFW. If you can't see the videos, click here and here.)

Alexxys K. Tylor

is

HILARIOUS.

I've probably blogged about her before, BUT I NEED TO DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE SHE IS FANTASTIC AND MORE PEOPLE SHOULD SEE THESE VIDEOS. I won't ruin the clips by extracting gems from 'em; just do yourself a favor and watch them right now. The interesting thing is that, under all the hilarity and craziness, there ARE some snippets of truth here (e.g. just because a man is in love with your vagina, it doesn't mean he's in love with you).

Preach it, sister.

Dildo Tank Game

(Click here for the video if you can't see it above. Thanks to Ian for showing me this.)

"Proceeding to the first story screen, we learn that a man named Joon has need of our pilot skills in order to help destroy the women with no heads, who are trying to destroy mankind. From here on, the goal is simple: shoot your nude adversaries with poison dildos in order for their vaginas to absorb the harmful chemicals contained within these phallic objects. The implementation, however, is rather difficult, as you will be forced to confront all manner of giant naked women, including ones with spiked boots, laser shooting vaginas, and drills for feet." via this article from TIG (The Independent Gaming Source).

Whut?

Really? You have to save humanity from large, naked women with no heads? By shooting poisoned dildos at them? REALLY?

Saying something about the super awkward implications the story-line has would be too easy, so what I want to comment on is the silliness of the "family-friendly" version of this game vs. the "adult" version. Am I the only one who think it's ridiculous to just hide the "naughty bits" with small, white circles (that say "vagina-cover" on them, no less) or even just pixelation and then claim it's "family friendly"? It reminds me of certain Japanese porn videos and manga where the tiniest bits are covered so they're"technically" not obscene, even though the distortion leaves very, very little to the imagination. Or even the U.S. TV standard, where an entire breast can be shown as long as the nipple/aureola is not visible! It's stupid. Nudity titillates us and simultaneously freaks the fuck out of us! If they really wanted to make the game family-friendly...well...there's just no way to make that happen without entirely redesigning the game into, oh, say, not something where the point is to shoot dildos at the crotches of headless women? *facepalm*

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Actually, hold on, I can't NOT say anything about the misogyny:

TIGS: Some of your creations, such as Rape and Dildo Tank, seem to exhibit a great deal of misogyny; do you consider men to be on a higher plane than women in regards to intelligence and overall worth?

Jazzuo: Rape is very strange game. I made this when i was in art school my first years and wanted to prove game is an art. So i made something with contemporary art feeling. Make game that is fun in gameplay but makes you uneasy, something like Edmund. Its not about personal opinion. Now dildo tank is a different story. It is extremely exaggerated but there are my opinions on girls and boys coexistence. Most people see more criticism on women but I think it is fifty fifty. The difference is women are depict more to stupid and men more to wrong. And that is also my big question to the world. Why it is more offensive to show someone as stupid then as wrong.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS RAPE GAME? :o

Goodbye, meat

Unless we're talking about playing the meat-flute (or other sexual things hinted at by hilarious euphemisms), I'm indefinitely staying away from meat/fish starting January 1st. I'm going the vegetarian route (ovo-lacto-vegetarian, to be precise, though I'll probably be eating vegan-fare a bunch anyway) for numerous reasons, which can be summarized quite concisely in a short bullet-list:

• It's better for animals, my health, the environment, etc
• I believe it's "the right thing to do" and can't back up eating meat with an argument that doesn't eventually boil down to "I just don't care enough"
• It's something I've been leaning towards (actively or not) for a while / New year, new decade, blah blah blah / I am finally ready to do it!
• The boyf is vegan and it's an important ethical issue for him
• It's a way to reduce amount of non-consensual suffering/pain I cause

Don't worry--I won't get all holier-than-thou on anyone and start being a militant vegetarian; that only alienates people. I'd much rather talk about the benefits of vegetarianism and my personal experiences with it all (both positive and negative), letting people make their OWN choices based on the information they get and what they feel are their priorities. :)

I can't promise this will be an uber-strict, lifelong decision, but I CAN guarantee that I'm not taking this lightly and that I HAVE thought about it a lot. I'm not doing it for a pre-set time period (like, "oh, I'll stop after a year") and I'm not just doing it solely because I'm with someone who's vegan. My choices, while informed and influenced by others, are still MY choices (and, really, do I seem the type to make a decision like this just because of a partner?). I eventually wanted to make vegetarianism a part of my life, and so I'm starting now and taking advantage of the veggie-friendly environment in which I live and operate in Providence.

Can't say I automatically hate meat/fish, though (this is an ethical, NOT taste-based, deal), so here's a list of things I'll miss (and yes, I know there are veggie alternatives to all of these, but still) most:

• Double Bacon Cheeseburger from Burger King (comfort food like WHOA)
• BACONNNNNNNN IN ALL FORMS
• New England Clam Chowder (I weep)
• Thanksgiving meal in all its turkey-having glory (favorite holiday meal evarrr)
• Sushi (of the not-just-vegetable kind, om nom nom)
• Skirt-steak
• BBQ kebabs from shitty little carts in Puerto Rico
• Ham croquettes
• Chicken/lamb "plates" from NYC carts (DELICIOUS)

I am not dedicated enough to be a vegan (for now), and it's way more of an inconvenience than I am ready to deal with at the moment. Plus, jumping straight from meat-loving omnivore to strict vegan is ridonkadonk (at least for me). Just look at all the animal products and by-products that exist and make their way into the things we use on a daily basis! The list is INSANE. I'd like to gradually try to step away from using as many animal (by)products as I can, though, and/or at least ensure that my eggs are free-range and that sort of thing. It's a process, so good luck to me. My first mission: find places in Puerto Rico that sell vegetarian- and vegan-friendly fare, both pre-made (restaurants!) and for cooking (stores!). Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Mmmm

No words are necessary,

save for NOM.

What To Get For The Holidays

So as finals are coming to a close, hordes of college-students are making their way back home and people everywhere are getting ready for the holidays, so I thought it would be appropriate to make a festive post about the gift-giving tradition. Really it's just an excuse to plug (heh) this glorious video by The Wet Spots. I've already mentioned them before on this blog, but I shall mention them again because I love them terribly and YOU SHOULD TOO. How can you not adore a duet described as "Savage Love meets School House Rock," right? So get excited, because if all goes according to plan, they will be coming to Brown and performing for Sex Week 2010 in March! :)

So, celebrate what you will, but keep the following video in mind!
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And if you're down for fisting, be it during the holidays or whenever, check out this How-To guide from Babeland. Don't be put off by the fact that it's talking about vaginas at first; the general tips apply to butts as well (and at the end it has a section about anal fisting). It's also not hard to find other how-tos (with videos, even) online. :) Like here! Just make sure you're getting them from a reputable source, or that you at least cross-reference your materials. Finally, DO remember that the anus and the vagina are built differently (e.g. self-lubrication or lack thereof), so while general tips apply to both, they are different playgrounds with their own quirks.

That's enough rambling for me.

Now go off and have fun.

Happy Holidays, everyone! :)